Monday, December 27, 2004
Saturday, December 25, 2004
j.cullum.
...i want to be in a big city right now, preferrably a low-lighted, jazz club. just sitting, drinkin wine. with you. then get up and dance all night. ahhhh.
christmas story.
Sat, Dec 25, 2004
Woman endures despite disease
By Jill SteinkeJournal staff
Genuine smiles brighten the Wachowiak living room these days, where Cindy Wachowiak often is found playing with her grandson.
She showers the baby with love and attention, taking delight in his infectious giggle, while her children, Cassie, 19, and Jacob, 13, and husband, Peter, 54, look on.
A family photo hanging in the Stevens Point home, taken just a few years ago, provides the only clue that this family has been through hard times. In the picture, she sits in the middle of her family with long brown hair and a full face.
On Tuesday night, however, when the family sat around her, Cindy Wachowiak nearly disappeared into the fluffy blue checkered cushions of her couch, her petite frame much lighter than when she appeared in the photo. And her hair now is much shorter.
"She was virtually knocking on heaven's door," Peter Wachowiak said.
Cindy had a relapse of lupus last year and it quickly affected the kidney her brother gave her nearly 20 years ago. In the following months, her condition deteriorated, keeping her from eating, which caused her hair to fall out. She also lost a lot of weight and her skin aged.
Cindy was in and out of hospitals from December of last year until November this year, recovering from a plethora of health problems that stemmed from the lupus she had been free from for 19 years. The disease was diagnosed at age 17, and by 1984, Cindy had received a kidney transplant. With the return of her illness, however, she needs another kidney.
"It's amazing to see what the human body can endure and come back from," Peter said. While his wife battled brain seizures and various infections, she had more tubes coming from her than Frankenstein, he said.
Twice the doctors told Peter they didn't know what else to do for her and that he should prepare the family for her death. Twice he told his children that he didn't know if their mother would make it.
Now Cindy's sister-in-law refers to her as Lazarus, whom Jesus raised from the dead. The name always makes her laugh, which she's been doing a lot more of lately.
"It's pretty good. Just like the old days," Jacob said. "She's a good woman. She has quite a comeback."
Finally being home after 138 days in hospitals, Cindy Wachowiak's thoughts are focused on feeling better and enjoying every day of her life.
"After all those days in the hospital it was like God put me on a cloud," she said, reminiscing with tears in her eyes about the happiness she felt on her first day back home. "I thank God for my life. I don't know what He has planned for me, but I hope I can do my best."Her 7-month-old grandson Ayd'n keeps her busy as she catches up on being a grandma. Peter and Cindy were happy to have Ayd'n arrive a month early, born on May 30, so they could witness his birth. Their own children were adopted, so it was the highlight of their life to see Cassie give birth, Peter said.
When Peter's time isn't consumed by his grandson, he's busy documenting Cindy's health and actions, both in his journal and in his memory. For the past year he stayed by her side every day, thanks to a lay-off notice from Stora Enso he received shortly before Cindy got sick.
"I thought this was meant to be," he said about losing his job.
Cindy spent a portion of the summer in an induced coma. She then began long days of therapy so she could speak and move again. She had been on about 30 different medications and is now being weaned off. In three months doctors expect she will be in good enough health for a transplant - if they can find a donor.
The Internet has become Peter new friend as he constantly searches for different ways to get a kidney. Several new services are popping up to help people find a donor, but federal regulations limits what and how people can get an organ.
In Cindy's case, friends and family have been tested but no matches were found. She is on a list along with 85,000 other people in the country, Peter said. Now they're encouraging everyone and anyone to consider donating an organ.
"Don't be afraid to do it," Cindy said. "You could improve someone's life. Giving up an organ is not a big deal because of medical advancements."
A new kidney for Cindy would mean another chance at life and to do the things she use to. Reaching out for help is somewhat new for the Wachowiaks, though. Cindy is usually the one giving, according to long-time friend Shirley Bablitch.
"She's a very humble person, so now when it was time for people to reach out to her I think it was kind of hard for her," said Bablitch, 54.
Even in the time of her greatest need, however, Bablitch said Cindy continues to give.
"I know a lot of people have said that they go to visit Cindy and hope they're going to perk her up ,and we're the ones that actually leave feeling the better for it," Bablitch said. "She's just that type of person."
www.stevenspointjournal.com
---this is my aunt. i can't even imagine what her and her family is going through, and this is just a little. but just the fact that she is alive today and getting healthy, is a true miracle. i have always believed in miracles, but never experienced one up close. now i have. i plan on visiting her tomorrow, just to see her smile and laugh and be her goofy self, will make my whole christmas. i do have regrets in the past year, like not going to visit her while she was in the coma, and not sending cards. but i don't think she cares about that, yea, i'm sure she was happy to get cards and that, but to see that actually person in person again, when at times, we didn't think she was going to make it another day, is where it's at. she's alive and giving all the glory to the Lord everyday that she is. she's amazing.
Woman endures despite disease
By Jill SteinkeJournal staff
Genuine smiles brighten the Wachowiak living room these days, where Cindy Wachowiak often is found playing with her grandson.
She showers the baby with love and attention, taking delight in his infectious giggle, while her children, Cassie, 19, and Jacob, 13, and husband, Peter, 54, look on.
A family photo hanging in the Stevens Point home, taken just a few years ago, provides the only clue that this family has been through hard times. In the picture, she sits in the middle of her family with long brown hair and a full face.
On Tuesday night, however, when the family sat around her, Cindy Wachowiak nearly disappeared into the fluffy blue checkered cushions of her couch, her petite frame much lighter than when she appeared in the photo. And her hair now is much shorter.
"She was virtually knocking on heaven's door," Peter Wachowiak said.
Cindy had a relapse of lupus last year and it quickly affected the kidney her brother gave her nearly 20 years ago. In the following months, her condition deteriorated, keeping her from eating, which caused her hair to fall out. She also lost a lot of weight and her skin aged.
Cindy was in and out of hospitals from December of last year until November this year, recovering from a plethora of health problems that stemmed from the lupus she had been free from for 19 years. The disease was diagnosed at age 17, and by 1984, Cindy had received a kidney transplant. With the return of her illness, however, she needs another kidney.
"It's amazing to see what the human body can endure and come back from," Peter said. While his wife battled brain seizures and various infections, she had more tubes coming from her than Frankenstein, he said.
Twice the doctors told Peter they didn't know what else to do for her and that he should prepare the family for her death. Twice he told his children that he didn't know if their mother would make it.
Now Cindy's sister-in-law refers to her as Lazarus, whom Jesus raised from the dead. The name always makes her laugh, which she's been doing a lot more of lately.
"It's pretty good. Just like the old days," Jacob said. "She's a good woman. She has quite a comeback."
Finally being home after 138 days in hospitals, Cindy Wachowiak's thoughts are focused on feeling better and enjoying every day of her life.
"After all those days in the hospital it was like God put me on a cloud," she said, reminiscing with tears in her eyes about the happiness she felt on her first day back home. "I thank God for my life. I don't know what He has planned for me, but I hope I can do my best."Her 7-month-old grandson Ayd'n keeps her busy as she catches up on being a grandma. Peter and Cindy were happy to have Ayd'n arrive a month early, born on May 30, so they could witness his birth. Their own children were adopted, so it was the highlight of their life to see Cassie give birth, Peter said.
When Peter's time isn't consumed by his grandson, he's busy documenting Cindy's health and actions, both in his journal and in his memory. For the past year he stayed by her side every day, thanks to a lay-off notice from Stora Enso he received shortly before Cindy got sick.
"I thought this was meant to be," he said about losing his job.
Cindy spent a portion of the summer in an induced coma. She then began long days of therapy so she could speak and move again. She had been on about 30 different medications and is now being weaned off. In three months doctors expect she will be in good enough health for a transplant - if they can find a donor.
The Internet has become Peter new friend as he constantly searches for different ways to get a kidney. Several new services are popping up to help people find a donor, but federal regulations limits what and how people can get an organ.
In Cindy's case, friends and family have been tested but no matches were found. She is on a list along with 85,000 other people in the country, Peter said. Now they're encouraging everyone and anyone to consider donating an organ.
"Don't be afraid to do it," Cindy said. "You could improve someone's life. Giving up an organ is not a big deal because of medical advancements."
A new kidney for Cindy would mean another chance at life and to do the things she use to. Reaching out for help is somewhat new for the Wachowiaks, though. Cindy is usually the one giving, according to long-time friend Shirley Bablitch.
"She's a very humble person, so now when it was time for people to reach out to her I think it was kind of hard for her," said Bablitch, 54.
Even in the time of her greatest need, however, Bablitch said Cindy continues to give.
"I know a lot of people have said that they go to visit Cindy and hope they're going to perk her up ,and we're the ones that actually leave feeling the better for it," Bablitch said. "She's just that type of person."
www.stevenspointjournal.com
---this is my aunt. i can't even imagine what her and her family is going through, and this is just a little. but just the fact that she is alive today and getting healthy, is a true miracle. i have always believed in miracles, but never experienced one up close. now i have. i plan on visiting her tomorrow, just to see her smile and laugh and be her goofy self, will make my whole christmas. i do have regrets in the past year, like not going to visit her while she was in the coma, and not sending cards. but i don't think she cares about that, yea, i'm sure she was happy to get cards and that, but to see that actually person in person again, when at times, we didn't think she was going to make it another day, is where it's at. she's alive and giving all the glory to the Lord everyday that she is. she's amazing.
Friday, December 24, 2004
missing music.
Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
Still I can't say what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy'
Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know
-dr.
just my mood right now. take it or leave it.
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
Still I can't say what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy'
Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know
-dr.
just my mood right now. take it or leave it.
AH...relaxing.
why does there have to be justification of everything? why can't things just be done and said in their puriest form-without worry of people reading into things? who knows. i can't change that so why even talk about it, i guess.
Christmas Eve. Yet, another year. Wow, i remember, when i was younger, i lived for this day. My family has always celebrated on christmas eve, so we always went to our church's eve service then went to my aunt's/neighbors house, chilled there, then came home and opened up our presents. my favorite. I love getting things. but, more than receiving, i LOVE giving. I love putting any type of joy in people's lives, even if it's by material things. i love being original, not the ordinary with people closest with me. Ah, today, christmas eve, it's different. Not really excited for presents, just like chilling with family. I'm changing, every new year. I'm excited for this next year. New adventures. I'm open for anything. where am i going? HA!
Christmas Eve. Yet, another year. Wow, i remember, when i was younger, i lived for this day. My family has always celebrated on christmas eve, so we always went to our church's eve service then went to my aunt's/neighbors house, chilled there, then came home and opened up our presents. my favorite. I love getting things. but, more than receiving, i LOVE giving. I love putting any type of joy in people's lives, even if it's by material things. i love being original, not the ordinary with people closest with me. Ah, today, christmas eve, it's different. Not really excited for presents, just like chilling with family. I'm changing, every new year. I'm excited for this next year. New adventures. I'm open for anything. where am i going? HA!
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
10am.
everything is better in the morning. i think. a new day, new opportunities, new mercies. i'm excited for today, i don't know why, i just am. don't know what it all will be, except business. but who knows what will come.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
what.where.
my heart dropped tonight as i received a phone call, but to my surprise, it turned out awesome. God really spoke to me, but not directly from one person or his voice, he spoke through a conversation with someone else when it really had nothing to do with God. I really need to "kick it in gear" with my music stuff. it always seems that i say that, but never do anything. what should i do? where do i begin? ah, sometimes i get frustrated, but i can't let that stop me. God has something awesome for me and something he wants to do through me, and i can't get in the way of that. ah, i'm tired. just wanted to remember that...someone remembered my voice from about 3 or 4 years ago-that's amazing to me. that's all.
Revive me.
Revive me.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
here's goes.
new times, but all the same. i turned 21 and i learned a lot i think. i hope i remember what i learned. 1-i can't rely on people, they will let me down. but i still need people to surround me. it's so easy for me to isolate myself and be fine. but it's not fine. 2- i can't make my own plans, if i do, i will soon be disappointed. i know, ultimately, i need God plans, but why is it so easy to think that i can do it on my own. when all the time, God has the best of the best for me. my eyes become so blinded so fast, sometimes. anyways, sounds funny, but i'm finding my emotions again. which is good, i guess. things i once had, then didn't, are coming back-which is good and bad.
i went to a wedding this weekend and i heard things that brought back past memories and seriously disgusted me. but in all made me glad and thankful for where God has taken me from and place me. just proves, that God has my back, hardcore. i need not to forget that ever!! ah, so much on my mind right now, can't type it all, don't know how... here's to my dreams:
staying home on a friday flat on the floor looking back on old love, or lack thereof.
after all the crushes are faded and all my wishful thinking is wrong, i'm jaded, i hate it.
i'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here
get here.
i'm searchin' all my days just to find you, not sure what i'm looking for
i'll know it when i see you.
till then i hide in my bedroom, staying up all night just to write a love song for no one.
i could have met you in a sandbox, could have passed you on a side walk.
could i have missed my chance and watched you walk away...?
no, no way.
you'll be so good for me.
you'll be so good.
-jm.
i hate weddings. ha
fold me up, take me out, i'm portable.
out here, we just sing and play whatever we feel
and the thud of falling out of bed at night is real.
traveling over a box with 18 wheels.
if i can go anywhere at all....
won't you tell me why....why....why ??
have fun with that one.
i went to a wedding this weekend and i heard things that brought back past memories and seriously disgusted me. but in all made me glad and thankful for where God has taken me from and place me. just proves, that God has my back, hardcore. i need not to forget that ever!! ah, so much on my mind right now, can't type it all, don't know how... here's to my dreams:
staying home on a friday flat on the floor looking back on old love, or lack thereof.
after all the crushes are faded and all my wishful thinking is wrong, i'm jaded, i hate it.
i'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here
get here.
i'm searchin' all my days just to find you, not sure what i'm looking for
i'll know it when i see you.
till then i hide in my bedroom, staying up all night just to write a love song for no one.
i could have met you in a sandbox, could have passed you on a side walk.
could i have missed my chance and watched you walk away...?
no, no way.
you'll be so good for me.
you'll be so good.
-jm.
i hate weddings. ha
fold me up, take me out, i'm portable.
out here, we just sing and play whatever we feel
and the thud of falling out of bed at night is real.
traveling over a box with 18 wheels.
if i can go anywhere at all....
won't you tell me why....why....why ??
have fun with that one.
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