Saturday, March 19, 2005
Friday, March 18, 2005
snow.ick.
ok so it's March 18. i can't even stand to look out the window right now...there is about a foot of new snow on the ground and it's not stopping anytime soon. i gotta talk to God about what He is doin to us up here in the north. so i don't have to work 8 hours today...like how i was scheduled, kind of nice. a girl i work with, wasn't scheduled at all this week...so i offered some of my hours to her...like a good friend would. hehe. so today and tomorrow night i have off after 6. it'll be so nice. but if the weather keeps up like this, we'll ALL probably get off at 6. my managers cool like that, he'll just have us shut down if we're not getting busy.
anywho. today is ok so far...i woke up at 10, made myself a vanilla latte. and read about David and Goliath(sp?) and David and Jonathan. it was cool. and now i'm motivated to go shovel....scrap my car. but even if i do now, i'll have to do it again before i leave for work. BLAH! peace.
anywho. today is ok so far...i woke up at 10, made myself a vanilla latte. and read about David and Goliath(sp?) and David and Jonathan. it was cool. and now i'm motivated to go shovel....scrap my car. but even if i do now, i'll have to do it again before i leave for work. BLAH! peace.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
less of me.
use me, break me, waste me on You,
Lord ruin me, take me, waste me on You
for to die is to live...
to starve is to feast
and less of me is more of Jesus
Lord, i want it all
Lord, i want it all
if i lose my life i gain everything
and at the cross away with all death's sting
Lord, i want it all
Lord, i want it all
there is power in the blood
there is victory in Jesus
come in power, wash me clean
overwhelm me with Your presence
there is power in the blood
there is victory in Jesus
help me glory in the cross
help me find my gain in loss
-my prayer today.
Lord ruin me, take me, waste me on You
for to die is to live...
to starve is to feast
and less of me is more of Jesus
Lord, i want it all
Lord, i want it all
if i lose my life i gain everything
and at the cross away with all death's sting
Lord, i want it all
Lord, i want it all
there is power in the blood
there is victory in Jesus
come in power, wash me clean
overwhelm me with Your presence
there is power in the blood
there is victory in Jesus
help me glory in the cross
help me find my gain in loss
-my prayer today.
Friday, March 11, 2005
rockford.
i woke up early today. weird. but kind of nice. anyways, so goin to rockford was cool. seeing my boyfriend was pretty cool. meeting people was cool. it would have been cooler if i could've went to see the RYI yesterday. it went awesome, so i hear. but one day, i guess. anyways. i thought i would have tons more about rockford, but i'm not in the mood to type it all out. so it was awesome! i'll keep it at that. enjoi the pointless pics. except the top one, that's andre, but the picture sucks! anyways, peace.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
so it's 3 am right now. and i'm not tired at all. my alarm is about to go off at 5:30AM. i am goin to rockford today. seeing Andre. cant wait to see him. it's a long drive for not really a long time to hang out with him, but i gotta see him, every chance i get. anyways, so today(which really was yesterday now-mar. 8) was aight. i worked 2 - close(9) but before work i went to lunch with Jordan, it's cool to be on the same page(in ministry) with him. we lead worship together every week. but now after our discussion, he is goin to lead more, then eventually start another band, branch off with younger students. he'll still be apart of the same group though, as right now. jordan was very encouraging to me. saying, that i "raised the bar" when it came to worship in youth. i don't know, from him, it was cool to hear. someone that plays every week with me, someone who knew what worship used to be and is apart of what it is now. seeing the bar being raised. i dont' know what the future holds for me right now, but if and when i do leave Rochester, i don't want to just leave without bringing people up to do what i do right now. a huge part of ministry, i believe, is training/equiping people up, constantly. and i haven't done that. so speakin with jordan, we're goin to start equiping others, younger people, junior high peeps. so it'll be awesome and frustrating i'm sure, but very beneficial. we're also going to go deeper (spiritually) with our band right now. it's crazy to think that i've been here in Roch. for about 1 1/2 years and the band right now, me, jordan, nick, matt, and kurtis aren't closer than what we are. i mean we're close, but we could be way more. anyways, those are my boys and i want them to feel comfortable enough to share with me or jordan what their goin through at any time. anyways, sorry i'm rambling now, but still not getting tired. crazy!! this can't be too good, all i can say is that i'm goin to be non-stop drinkin coffee tomorrow.
then, after work, i went to andy's and he purchased the sweetest game EVER!!! it's XBOX Karoake!!! i sang a Michelle Branche song, and lets just say that i rocked everyone's socks off!!! later i found out that i have the highest score. BRING IT!!!
K it is now 3:30, i gotta turn off Friends, turn off the computer and TRY to sleep. ah, sleep, it's so nice. i should not have drank that coffee after 9. CRAP, what was i thinkin??? ok peace out.
then, after work, i went to andy's and he purchased the sweetest game EVER!!! it's XBOX Karoake!!! i sang a Michelle Branche song, and lets just say that i rocked everyone's socks off!!! later i found out that i have the highest score. BRING IT!!!
K it is now 3:30, i gotta turn off Friends, turn off the computer and TRY to sleep. ah, sleep, it's so nice. i should not have drank that coffee after 9. CRAP, what was i thinkin??? ok peace out.
Friday, March 04, 2005
realize.
'you can't have it both ways, banqueting with the Master one day and slumbering with demons the next. Besides, the Master won't put up with it. He wants US---all or nothing. Do you think you can get off with anything less?? Looking at it one way, you could say, "anything goes, because of God's immense generosity and grace, we don't have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster." But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help OTHERS live well.- 1 Cor. 10 something to something. The Message.
i read that today from the Message(not my fave translation, but didn't have my other Bible) anyways, i work in youth ministry right now, and so many of the students i'm closest with are struggling with junk right now. it sucks. struggling with juggling both things...world and God. we just went to the retreat, and honestly i didnt' do all that i could to reach out the students that weekend. i would rather reach out right now...when they get back into real life. day to day. 2 of my closest boys are now working at Dunn Bros with me, so i look at that as not just fun and crazy times, but a time when i can really pour into their lives...and not to mention, we lead worship together every week. it just sucks, i wish they could realize what i realize, sometimes, and not saying at all that i have all the answers, i totally don't...but. if you put your trust in God, he will blow your mind. sure it'll be hard and there will be struggles, but God's there and he can help you through. but i guess in time.
i have been thinking about my life lately and the places i've been and people i've met in the past 4 or 5 years. it's crazy to think i've been here in Roch for over a year. anyways, i have kind of made a summary of my life in WA, FL and now in MN. in WA, it was surrender, i told God that i wanted to surrender everything to Him and i did...but through it i had to deal with alot of past pains and situations...FL was loneliness. i was pretty lonely. although i had good times there. it was lonely most of the time. just kept on trusting and waiting on God. the funny thing is, is that in FL, i didn't live my life all down and depressed cause i was lonely, i rarely thought i was lonely...i didnt' want to get in that rut. but lookin back now, i really do think i was lonely. anyways, just hung out with God. try to do the best i could on my own...didn't do that well. and here in Roch, MN...foundation....in God. i really feel like in this time in MN, i have come to know, that i know, that i know, God is my foundation, when things happen, good or bad, they are not goin to determine my status with God. you know? i know it's probably confusing, just venting....where in the past situations kind of affected the way i looked at God---i didn't like being in that place with my relationship with Him....so anyways here i sit this morning, just being SOOOOO thankful, God has been faithful in my life, even when i wasn't. and blessing me beyond anything i ever believed. anyways, so that my story...there's alot of "to be continued" to go around....
and to Andre. incredible, you are. i thank God everyday we were put together so randomly. i love you.
www.xanga.com/ktjac there's my other site, if you wanna check it out, but this is where my heart is...
i read that today from the Message(not my fave translation, but didn't have my other Bible) anyways, i work in youth ministry right now, and so many of the students i'm closest with are struggling with junk right now. it sucks. struggling with juggling both things...world and God. we just went to the retreat, and honestly i didnt' do all that i could to reach out the students that weekend. i would rather reach out right now...when they get back into real life. day to day. 2 of my closest boys are now working at Dunn Bros with me, so i look at that as not just fun and crazy times, but a time when i can really pour into their lives...and not to mention, we lead worship together every week. it just sucks, i wish they could realize what i realize, sometimes, and not saying at all that i have all the answers, i totally don't...but. if you put your trust in God, he will blow your mind. sure it'll be hard and there will be struggles, but God's there and he can help you through. but i guess in time.
i have been thinking about my life lately and the places i've been and people i've met in the past 4 or 5 years. it's crazy to think i've been here in Roch for over a year. anyways, i have kind of made a summary of my life in WA, FL and now in MN. in WA, it was surrender, i told God that i wanted to surrender everything to Him and i did...but through it i had to deal with alot of past pains and situations...FL was loneliness. i was pretty lonely. although i had good times there. it was lonely most of the time. just kept on trusting and waiting on God. the funny thing is, is that in FL, i didn't live my life all down and depressed cause i was lonely, i rarely thought i was lonely...i didnt' want to get in that rut. but lookin back now, i really do think i was lonely. anyways, just hung out with God. try to do the best i could on my own...didn't do that well. and here in Roch, MN...foundation....in God. i really feel like in this time in MN, i have come to know, that i know, that i know, God is my foundation, when things happen, good or bad, they are not goin to determine my status with God. you know? i know it's probably confusing, just venting....where in the past situations kind of affected the way i looked at God---i didn't like being in that place with my relationship with Him....so anyways here i sit this morning, just being SOOOOO thankful, God has been faithful in my life, even when i wasn't. and blessing me beyond anything i ever believed. anyways, so that my story...there's alot of "to be continued" to go around....
and to Andre. incredible, you are. i thank God everyday we were put together so randomly. i love you.
www.xanga.com/ktjac there's my other site, if you wanna check it out, but this is where my heart is...
Thursday, March 03, 2005
burgundy.
i have to quote my friend and yours...Mr. Ron Burgundy when he said, "i immediately regret this decision..."
i like to think of myself as a highly motivated person. so i worked 7am to 2pm...good ole D.Bros. anyways, when i work that shift, i go home and take a quick nap. so i woke up from the 30 min. nap, put on my kicks and walked out my door, on my way to take a jog. i got on the road and just started running, no stretching, no walking, just running...not the best idea, i'll admit. i haven't really ran since my days in FL-then i ran about a mile and 1/2 every night or every other night. needless to day, my chest felt like someone was sitting on it. ok well not really interesting today...but just thoughts, i guess. love y'all.
i like to think of myself as a highly motivated person. so i worked 7am to 2pm...good ole D.Bros. anyways, when i work that shift, i go home and take a quick nap. so i woke up from the 30 min. nap, put on my kicks and walked out my door, on my way to take a jog. i got on the road and just started running, no stretching, no walking, just running...not the best idea, i'll admit. i haven't really ran since my days in FL-then i ran about a mile and 1/2 every night or every other night. needless to day, my chest felt like someone was sitting on it. ok well not really interesting today...but just thoughts, i guess. love y'all.
Monday, February 28, 2005
live.
please stop, put down whatever you're doing, quit worrying about your to-do list, turn off the music or tv, put the cell phone down, silence your mind & mouth...and put your hand over your heart.
take a moment and listen.
feel your heartbeat.
take a moment and try to make your heart stop beating. you can't do it. you can't tell your heart to stop beating. you cannot command your blood to flow.
there's a reason your heart is still beating right now. jesus woke you up again this morning for a reason, a cause... not just to be a task-doer. not just to hang out and have fun. not just to work at something you don't believe in. not to climb the ladder of success. not just to live a routine life. not to just be like everybody else. not just to live an ordinary life.
what was an ordinary day in the life of jesus? raising the dead. healing the sick. opening the eyes of the blind. walking on water. forgiving the lost. calming stormy waters.
your heart is still beating this moment because jesus wants to take your ordinary day and turn it in to his kind of an ordinary day.
...your heart is beating. live.
take a moment and listen.
feel your heartbeat.
take a moment and try to make your heart stop beating. you can't do it. you can't tell your heart to stop beating. you cannot command your blood to flow.
there's a reason your heart is still beating right now. jesus woke you up again this morning for a reason, a cause... not just to be a task-doer. not just to hang out and have fun. not just to work at something you don't believe in. not to climb the ladder of success. not just to live a routine life. not to just be like everybody else. not just to live an ordinary life.
what was an ordinary day in the life of jesus? raising the dead. healing the sick. opening the eyes of the blind. walking on water. forgiving the lost. calming stormy waters.
your heart is still beating this moment because jesus wants to take your ordinary day and turn it in to his kind of an ordinary day.
...your heart is beating. live.
burnt.
this weekend was great. and i don't really want to cheapen the experience by tryin to explaining it on here. anyways, it wasn't really about me goin into this weekend, it was about students, but i had to get something from it. i just feel like i am on the stage all the time, leading, doin altar stuff, i never have the chance on a wednesday night or a weekend like this...to get alone with God, or have others pray with me...or get a chance to pray for people. anyways, so i took advantage of Saturday night altar time, cause i didn't have to do music. God really opened my eyes to some things...and i just feel he is burning things out of me. the dross, if you will. only to get to where He wants me to be in my walk with Him. i thought that if i had certain things in my life, i, then, wouldn't have to deal with other things, that i used to deal with, but with these things in my life now, i still have to deal with stuff from my past and my own thoughts. it's goin to be work. and i left this retreat feeling good, feeling somewhat refreshed(other than the lack of sleep) but knowing the next, however long, will be probably a tough time, but rewarding all at the same time. knowing God will never leave, nor forsake me. always be there, when others can't. always being the faithful Friend is has been, is, and will continue to be, whether i see it or not at times. ok well enjoy the pictures. good times over all. it was good to play music this weekend and not being restricted at all, not caring, really, about anything else, but just worshiping God through the song of my heart, not just my mouth....to sing with all my might and my voice right now is messed up because of it, but it's all good. anyways, that's all i'm saying for now. i'm ready to go into battle.
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