here's goes.

new times, but all the same. i turned 21 and i learned a lot i think. i hope i remember what i learned. 1-i can't rely on people, they will let me down. but i still need people to surround me. it's so easy for me to isolate myself and be fine. but it's not fine. 2- i can't make my own plans, if i do, i will soon be disappointed. i know, ultimately, i need God plans, but why is it so easy to think that i can do it on my own. when all the time, God has the best of the best for me. my eyes become so blinded so fast, sometimes. anyways, sounds funny, but i'm finding my emotions again. which is good, i guess. things i once had, then didn't, are coming back-which is good and bad.

i went to a wedding this weekend and i heard things that brought back past memories and seriously disgusted me. but in all made me glad and thankful for where God has taken me from and place me. just proves, that God has my back, hardcore. i need not to forget that ever!! ah, so much on my mind right now, can't type it all, don't know how... here's to my dreams:

staying home on a friday flat on the floor looking back on old love, or lack thereof.
after all the crushes are faded and all my wishful thinking is wrong, i'm jaded, i hate it.
i'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here
get here.
i'm searchin' all my days just to find you, not sure what i'm looking for
i'll know it when i see you.
till then i hide in my bedroom, staying up all night just to write a love song for no one.
i could have met you in a sandbox, could have passed you on a side walk.
could i have missed my chance and watched you walk away...?
no, no way.
you'll be so good for me.
you'll be so good.
-jm.

i hate weddings. ha

fold me up, take me out, i'm portable.
out here, we just sing and play whatever we feel
and the thud of falling out of bed at night is real.
traveling over a box with 18 wheels.
if i can go anywhere at all....
won't you tell me why....why....why ??

have fun with that one.