Friday, March 04, 2005

realize.

'you can't have it both ways, banqueting with the Master one day and slumbering with demons the next. Besides, the Master won't put up with it. He wants US---all or nothing. Do you think you can get off with anything less?? Looking at it one way, you could say, "anything goes, because of God's immense generosity and grace, we don't have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster." But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help OTHERS live well.- 1 Cor. 10 something to something. The Message.

i read that today from the Message(not my fave translation, but didn't have my other Bible) anyways, i work in youth ministry right now, and so many of the students i'm closest with are struggling with junk right now. it sucks. struggling with juggling both things...world and God. we just went to the retreat, and honestly i didnt' do all that i could to reach out the students that weekend. i would rather reach out right now...when they get back into real life. day to day. 2 of my closest boys are now working at Dunn Bros with me, so i look at that as not just fun and crazy times, but a time when i can really pour into their lives...and not to mention, we lead worship together every week. it just sucks, i wish they could realize what i realize, sometimes, and not saying at all that i have all the answers, i totally don't...but. if you put your trust in God, he will blow your mind. sure it'll be hard and there will be struggles, but God's there and he can help you through. but i guess in time.

i have been thinking about my life lately and the places i've been and people i've met in the past 4 or 5 years. it's crazy to think i've been here in Roch for over a year. anyways, i have kind of made a summary of my life in WA, FL and now in MN. in WA, it was surrender, i told God that i wanted to surrender everything to Him and i did...but through it i had to deal with alot of past pains and situations...FL was loneliness. i was pretty lonely. although i had good times there. it was lonely most of the time. just kept on trusting and waiting on God. the funny thing is, is that in FL, i didn't live my life all down and depressed cause i was lonely, i rarely thought i was lonely...i didnt' want to get in that rut. but lookin back now, i really do think i was lonely. anyways, just hung out with God. try to do the best i could on my own...didn't do that well. and here in Roch, MN...foundation....in God. i really feel like in this time in MN, i have come to know, that i know, that i know, God is my foundation, when things happen, good or bad, they are not goin to determine my status with God. you know? i know it's probably confusing, just venting....where in the past situations kind of affected the way i looked at God---i didn't like being in that place with my relationship with Him....so anyways here i sit this morning, just being SOOOOO thankful, God has been faithful in my life, even when i wasn't. and blessing me beyond anything i ever believed. anyways, so that my story...there's alot of "to be continued" to go around....

and to Andre. incredible, you are. i thank God everyday we were put together so randomly. i love you.

www.xanga.com/ktjac there's my other site, if you wanna check it out, but this is where my heart is...

2 comments:

nay said...

u got urself a blog too..cool..<3nay

nay said...

u got urself a blog too..cool..<3nay