security.

seriously i need help. it's come to the point where i just don't know what do to and i think i need the answers soon. i really want to do one thing, but then i really feel like i should to do another...because of "security" does God open multiple doors and let us walk through whatever door we want and he still blesses us and leads us? or is there one door he wants us to walk through?? i think i know the answer, but i'm VERY impatient and i want to know what to do. the one thing i want to do, people will think i'm crazy for doin it, but i know it'll be ok. let'em think what they want-my thoughts. but then the other thing i feel like i should do, is because of "worldy security" aka, money, benefits, commitment(that i don't know if i want to make)-not to mention, that it is still all up in the air...not set in stone so who really knows how much "security" it will actually give me...if any. if you're readin this your head is probably spinning, mine is too...gotta go to sleep.